The Lake
by padfoot's prose
Summary: Songfic to I Don't Want To Miss A Thing by AeroSmith. Post season two. Robin is mourning for Marian, remembering the times that they spent together... RxM


**Okay, so for all you Robin Hood readers, here's an example of one of my very heavy going romances. It's highly confusing and tackles a very touchy subject. I can promise that it's good though.**

**The song is _I Don't Want To Miss A Thing_ by _Aerosmith_**

**Disclaimer: BBC own's Robin Hood, if I owned it Marian and Carter would still be alive.**

* * *

Robin sat by the lake in Locksley, his eyes glazed over as he stared out at the still water before him

Robin sat by the lake in Locksley, his eyes glazed over as he stared out at the still water before him. He could remember times, so many years ago, when he'd sit by the lake, smiling as the sun sparkled on its surface, throwing rainbows onto the grass surrounding it. Children playing and laughing around him as they tossed a leather ball back and forth, their mothers sitting together and picnicking as they supervised the play. Those times were long gone, lost in the haze of war. Death, torture, the struggle to live for another time when things would be right again. But things were never right. Not now. Not ever. Not since she'd died….

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
Watch you smile while you are sleeping  
While you're far away and dreaming  
_

A young Robin, no older than eighteen or nineteen, sat in the same place by the lake. It was too late for children to be out, and their mothers and families were locked up safe in their houses. The full moon was still rising in the sky behind a layer of grey cloud, but the shining orb was barely visible in his eyes. A girl, about sixteen, lay next to him, her head resting on his lap and her dark hair splayed over his legs. Her eyes were closed, and her chest rose and fell with every gentle breath that she took in her deep sleep.

The hoot of a nearby owl didn't disturb her, neither did the galloping hooves of a horse as its rider steered it past the small village. The girl's lips were curved into a smile, so innocent and serene that even in her sleep she kept Robin captivated. When he gazed at her sleeping smile, he couldn't think of anything but her. Her smile, her delicately closed eyes, her silken hair, her small hands, grasping his. Her soft breaths soothed him into the blissful feeling of safety, of comfort, of belonging.

_I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I could stay lost in this moment forever  
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure  
_

It seemed much too soon that the sun was rising, cascading the young couple with golden light and reflecting sparkling colours off the lake. Robin blinked in the sudden light, squinting into the sunrise as he tried to force it back down under the horizon to give him one more moment in his bliss. Unwilling to cooperate with the boy, the sun continued its journey up into the sky, washing the dark sky with shades of yellow and pink.

Feeling the warmth of daylight on her face, the girl woke too, looking up from Robin's lap at the face of boy she loved before sighing.

"It's morning, isn't it?"

Robin nodded silently, his eyes meeting the girl's as they regarded him curiously.

"Does my father know I'm here?"

This time Robin shook his head. "No. You need to return home, Marian, he'll be missing you."

"I know."

Neither of the two made any move to get up, though. They're eyes had caught, and they felt like they had no choice but to gaze at each other, getting more and more lost in one another's eyes.

"Do I have to go?" Marian whispered, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Yes."

"But I don't want to."

"And I don't want you to."

_  
Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
_

Robin could remember the moment as if it had been earlier today that they'd been together. As if he was still that young, nineteen year old boy who only dreamed of love and glory. Never had that young boy considered that it may end with a choice between the two…

_  
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing  
_

An older Robin, this time in his mid-twenties, knelt by Marian's bed, watching her with tears in his eyes as she lay on the bed. Was she dead? Had a man who claimed to love her really taken her life from her? He didn't want to face it, he couldn't face it.

"Hemlock – I have heard of this before," a different woman, this one small and dark darted forward to the bed. "Too much, and the body freezes. Breathing stops. But if one is young and strong, body fights back – comes back from the dead!"

The cave filled with relieved laughs and amazed faces, but Robin's eyes were only for the woman lying on the bed, still and cold, but alive.

"Marian?" He whispered, his voice throaty from his tears. "Marian? Marian!"

A pair of deep blue eyes shuddered open, looking directly at him. "Where have I been?" She asked, confusion and exhaustion radiating from her gaze.

New tears formed in Robin's eyes, pooling over and sliding down his face even as he smiled. "I don't know," he whispered. "But I'm glad you're back. I'm glad you're back."

Everyone else seemed to have faded away, and all that was left was Marian. Her eyes, sad but alive, his hands holding her face as she looked up at up him.

Bending down, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, too happy for words as he felt her body against his once more. Her heart beat unevenly in her chest, and her eyes didn't stay open for long before she fell back into an exhausted sleep, but it was enough. The fact that she was alive was enough.

Briefly, as he led the way through the forest to Knighton Hall, Robin wondered what Marian was thinking. Did she know how close she had been to death? Did she know what he had felt when he'd thought she was dead? Did she know how he felt at all?

Yes, he answered himself. She knew.

_Then I kiss your eyes  
And thank God we're together  
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever  
Forever and ever  
_

They arrived soon at her house, and quickly they went to her room and he laid her on her bed. Then the group, all six of them, stood around the bed, watching, waiting, praying, hoping – that she'd open her eyes. Oblivious to the people around him, Robin leant down to Marian's form on the bed and pressed his lips to hers, wishing that she would react. Kissing each of her eyes, he pulled back when he felt her move beneath him, and everyone let out a sigh of relief as her eyes opened and fixed themselves on Robin.

"Sorry," she murmured, her voice soft and weak. "And thank you." Her eyes never left Robin.

And despite that fact that Marian had almost died, despite the looming terror of her wedding to another man, Robin was _happy_. She was alive. She was speaking and breathing and her heart was beating again. And as long as that was happening, Robin knew that they had a chance together.

He wished that this moment of hope, this moment where tomorrow meant nothing but another chance at getting Marian, where love was the only thing he felt, no longing or loss – this moment should've lasted forever.

_  
I don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
_

But it hadn't lasted, had it?

_  
I don't want to miss one smile_

"Do you take this man, and this horse, as your way out of here?"

"I do!"

_I don't want to miss one kiss  
_

"Listen."

"What?"

"That kiss spoke volumes…"

_I just want to be with you  
_

"Come join my gang."

_Right here with you, just like this  
_

"Truce?"

"Truce."

_I just want to hold you close  
_

"He asked me to give you a message: 'It's good to dream'."

_Feel your heart so close to mine  
_

"So we find Lardener, and bring the King home. Defeat the Sheriff. And then get married…?"

"Sounds like a plan."

_And just stay here in this moment  
_

"…promise to love you, and to cherish you on Earth, and especially in Heaven. For now and forever, til death do us part…"

_For all the rest of time  
_

"We have Forever, my love."

"I hope we have Forever in Heaven, because we didn't have enough time on Earth...  
Not nearly enough time..."

_  
I don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
_

And as he sat there by the lake, the sky dark and cloudy, only letting weak streaks of sunlight to the ground, he could feel her dying body in his arms. The sun beating on his back, hotter than ever. The sand under him as he held her. Her last kiss against his lips.

He could smell her perfume, mixed with sweat. The spicy smells of the Holy Land and the metallic odour of blood.

Hear her heavy breathing as she fought to live for just a little longer so that she could be with him. Her agonising screams as she pulled the sword from her stomach.

Taste her on his lips.

See her body, splayed on the orange sand, a lost beauty, a murdered woman. Marian. Dead.

_  
I Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
_

It hadn't gotten better. He hadn't healed. It had been three years since she'd died, and no matter how many people he killed, no matter what he did for revenge… she hadn't come back. She wasn't going to come back.

_  
Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

The sun set, sinking below the horizon and throwing the lake into darkness. The grass around Robin was dead with age, the village that had once stood before him was nothing but a few broken pieces of wood and piles of dust blowing in the gentle breeze. And as shadows lengthened, Robin could only sit and remember his bliss when he was nineteen. Lying in this very place with Marian on his lap, willing the sun to set rather than rise. It seemed like finally he'd gotten his wish.

But now it didn't bring him bliss. It didn't bring him happiness. All it brought was tears. Grief, longing, and the crushing feeling of the immense loss. He hadn't felt anything else in years. No hope or happiness. No dreams or inspirations. He was ruined.

He was nothing but an echo of his former self, a being made entirely of memories and the need for revenge. He'd lost too much, missed far too much of what should've happened to be able to ever recover.

He hadn't wanted to miss out on that life. That woman who he loved. He shouldn't have had to miss having a wife, a family, a child. He'd done so much to try and make the future a better time. But he'd rarely been able to stop to appreciate what he'd had. And now it was all gone. He hadn't wanted to miss anything, but in doing so he'd missed everything. It was his fault, and he'd never be able to escape that.

_Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
__Cause I miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

**See what I mean by heavy going?**

**Okay, I really need to vent, so don't read this unless you want to know why i suddenly decided to write all these Robin Hood stories. And just to put it in context, I tend to get a little bit attached to fictional characters, seeing as my life revolves around my stories and the worlds in them.**

**Last night, the last episode of season 2 aired in Australia (which is where i live) and it completely ruined me. I was crying non-stop for over three hours after the episode, not to mention basically the entire time during. It took me ages to wrok out why it was so sad, and I figured out a few bits of it, which is why I wrote this. See, Robin and Marian are meant to be together, we all know that, and the fact that they're not makes me wonder what is ahppeneing to society. If in TV shows, which are meant to be about people with amazing lives, people still die and lose the people who they love, how can those of stuck out here in the real world be expected to be optimistic about our futures? If Robin and Marian are broken up without and affair and without Global Warming and without car crashes and drugs and every other horrible thing that exists today, how are we supposed to have any hope?**

**And what about the reasons that they gave? The writers said that it was to outdo last season's finale, well I'd prefer if it didn't outdo it and Marian was still alive for the next season. And her death was all about Guy. All about how he would react if he'd killed the woman he loved. But what about Robin? I don't CARE about Guy! I don't CARE if it makes his character more interesting that he's killed Marian!**

**And it absolutely kills me to imagine the rest of Robin's life without Marian. Sure, he can keep on saving England, but only for so long. What about when he's old, and sitting alone in his house in Locksley. Yes, he'll be the Lord of Locksley again. Yes, Much will have Bonchurch and John will be with his wife and son (I'll bet the cooper just vanishes). But that doesn't mean that Robin will be happy. Because he can't be, not without Marian. And if he is? What if he finds another perfect woman who he loves? I will murder him so that he can go to Heaven and see how much better Marian is than that that woman. He and Marian could've had so much. They would've had a life and children and a family and a home. They would've had each other. And I seriosuly feel like writing a story where Marian just appears again and is suddenly back. It was a _fake_ Marian to fool Guy into thinking that he'd killed her. She didn;t actually die, it was Hemlock again. Anything.**

**Sorry about that, I just tend to get a little bit emotional about stuff like this.**

* * *


End file.
